Dating customs around the world: how dating works in 12 countries
Dating looks different around the world: who asks whom out, who pays, when you're officially together, and how soon the family gets involved. Here's how dating often works in 12 countries. These are broad customs, not rules. Cities differ from small towns, younger people date differently from their parents, and dating apps are now common almost everywhere.
United States: the "talking stage"
Many relationships start with a "talking stage" of texting and casual dates before anyone calls it dating. Seeing a few people at once early on is common, until you "define the relationship" (DTR) and become exclusive. Research from Stanford found that meeting online has become the most common way couples in the US meet.
France: less "dating", more just being together
Many French people say they don't really "date" the way Americans do. There's less of a formal series of dates, and seeing several people at once is less common. A kiss often means you're now together, without a separate conversation to make it official.
Spain: late dinners and groups of friends
Dinner often starts at 9 or later, and a date can easily run past midnight. Many couples meet through friends, and going out in a group for tapas is a relaxed way to get to know someone. Family tends to play a big part once things are serious.
Brazil: "ficar" vs "namorar"
Brazilians distinguish between ficar, a casual hookup or making out with no commitment, and namorar, being in a real relationship. Moving from one to the other is a clear step, and Brazil even has its own Valentine's Day, Dia dos Namorados, on June 12.
Mexico: family comes early
Family is central, and meeting your partner's family can happen relatively early, often at a big family meal. Once you're exclusive, you're each other's novio or novia. Traditional courtesy, like walking your date home, is still appreciated by many.
Japan: the "kokuhaku" confession
Relationships often officially start with kokuhaku, a direct confession of feelings and a question about dating. Group dates called gōkon are a popular way to meet. On Valentine's Day, women traditionally give chocolate to men, and on White Day, March 14, men give gifts in return.
South Korea: 100-day anniversaries
Couples celebrate milestones every 100 days, starting with the 100-day anniversary, and couple rings or matching outfits are common. Many people meet through sogaeting, a blind date set up by a friend.
China: parents and blind dates
Parents can be closely involved in finding a partner, and xiangqin, a blind date arranged by family, is common. In Shanghai's People's Park, parents gather at a weekend "marriage market" to share details about their single adult children. At the same time, dating apps are widely used, especially in cities.
India: arranged, introduced and "love" matches
Arranged marriages are still common, often today as "introduced" matches where families suggest someone and the couple decides. Matrimonial websites are widely used by families. "Love marriages", where the couple meets on their own, are increasingly common too, especially in cities.
The Philippines: "panliligaw" courtship
Panliligaw is the traditional courtship, where the suitor often visits the family and earns their trust, not just the person they like. The old custom of harana, serenading someone outside their window, is rare today but still loved as a romantic idea.
Nigeria and Ghana: the introduction
Once a couple is serious, families meet formally at an introduction, a ceremony that comes before the traditional wedding. In Ghana, the groom's family "knocks" with gifts to ask for the bride's hand. Dating is personal; marriage involves both families.
Sweden: equal and easygoing
Either person may ask the other out, and splitting the bill is normal. A first date is often fika, coffee and a pastry, which keeps things relaxed. People may spend time together in groups before calling anything a date.
What every culture has in common
- A moment when it becomes "official". A confession, a conversation, meeting the family.
- Family matters. Some sooner, some later, but almost everywhere, family opinion counts.
- Food. Dinner, coffee, a family meal: sharing food is how people get to know each other.
- Respect. What it looks like changes; that it matters doesn't.
The customs change from place to place. Wanting to be really known doesn't.
Dating someone from another culture? Read our 10 tips for dating across cultures.
Dating with intention, wherever you're from
On Fated, you can add your heritage and the languages you speak, and say what you're looking for before you meet anyone. Fated matches you with one person at a time on what you both want, and every match starts with a conversation.
Questions people ask
What is kokuhaku in Japan?
Kokuhaku is a direct confession of feelings, usually with a request to start dating. In Japan, it's often how a relationship officially begins.
What does "ficar" mean in Brazil?
Ficar means a casual hookup or making out with no commitment. Namorar means being in a real relationship, so moving from ficar to namorar is a clear step.
What is the 100-day anniversary in Korea?
Korean couples often celebrate their relationship every 100 days, starting with the 100-day anniversary, sometimes with gifts or couple rings.
Who pays on a first date in different countries?
It varies. Splitting the bill is normal in places like Sweden and the Netherlands, while in many other countries the person who asked, often the man, traditionally pays. Many couples today simply take turns.
Are arranged marriages still common in India?
Yes, arranged marriages are still common, often as introduced matches where families suggest someone and the couple makes the final choice. Love marriages are increasingly common too.